Emotional Benefits Of A Media Fast: Part 2

 Now that you’ve committed to your media fast, how can you make the most of it?  One thing that I’ve learned in my work with coaching hundreds of people to overcome blocks is that behavior modification rarely works.  Why?  Because modifying a behavior is to treat the symptom (the behavior) and not the cause.  So, to just give up watching the news, listening to news radio or reading the paper will probably not have lasting effects on your emotional health unless you address the deeper cause of the fear, stress, overwhelm and anxiety you’re experiencing.

During your media fast, you must begin to question the thoughts and beliefs that are associated with undesired emotional states.  It’s actually quite simple, here’s how it works:

When you have a thought that’s related to your personal finances or the economy that makes you feel anxious, nervous, depressed or any other negative feeling ask yourself this question:  What meaning have I created about myself  in relation to this thought/belief? OR What does this mean about ME?

Here’s an example.  Perhaps you catch yourself thinking, “ I can’t pay my bills this month, what am I going to do?”  Simply notice the thought and then ask yourself: What does it mean about me (not what does it mean) that I can’t pay my bills?  You might have several answers: I’m not a good wife/husband because I’m not contributing; I’m a failure; I’m not worthy or deserving.  Notice the difference between ‘What does it mean about me’, versus ‘What does it mean’?  If you were to answer the latter question the answer would be very different: “I might get kicked out of my apartment’, ‘ The debt collectors will come after me’, ‘My utilities will get shut off’. You want to get to what you believe about yourself in relation to your situation, not what you imagine will happen to you in your life.

With this line of questioning you’re trying to discover what core beliefs you have that could be blocking you and keeping you stuck.  Once you have an awareness about a limiting belief, you can choose to replace it with a more empowering thought by asking yourself: What thought would be more empowering right now?  For instance, instead of continuing to dwell on the thought “I can’t pay my bills”, you might choose another thought that shifts your emotional state such as ‘I’m doing everything I can to resolve this.’ or ‘I contribute to my family in many ways, not just with money.’  or  ‘ This is an opportunity for me to find new ways to create abundance that I may never have thought of.’  You can choose any thought that focuses on possibility and that take you further away from the stress and anxiety and closer to feelings of peace and a sense of detachment.  It may take some time to find a thought that makes you feel more empowered than your original thought, but the more you practice the easier it becomes.

Working with your core beliefs will have the greatest effect on your emotional state, so this is a critical piece of the 40-day media fast process.  In my next posting, I’ll discuss the final two components to a media fast.

Lisa Engles uses several integrative healing techniques in her work as a certified life coach including EFT, music therapy and movement based healing arts.  She has a degree in Exercise Physiology and Kinesiolgy, and has spent many years in personal study of  consciousness and the new sciences.  She is available for private coaching as well as corporate presentations, workshops and seminars.  Email lisa@innerstatecoaching.com for more information.

Money Can’t Buy Me Love

  I was in a hurry this morning, but that’s sort of normal… getting a 6 year old out of bed on a Tuesday morning to go to school isn’t always a smooth running operation.  Unfortunately, another normal occurence  for me is a car that breaks down.  Which is exactly what happened at 7:38 this morning as I was getting ready to start my day.

If I chose to, I could easily add this as yet another ‘thing’ to my list of all the reasons why I should be stressed out.  It might look something like this:  Income has decreased since last summer by 50%, Not enough money to pay all my bills without overdrawing every month, Taxes are due, Car broken again.  And this is just the cliff-notes version, I’m sparing the grim details.

So what’s a 21st century girl who’s been taught that she should be able to take care of herself, that she should be independent, strong and free of support from anyone else to do?  Well, if I held on to that belief, I can tell you that I’d be feeling pretty helpless, hopeless and guilty right now.  I’d also be giving myself a good beating of blame.  

I’ve found three simple ways to deal with my situation.

1. Connect With Close Friends.  This includes those people that I feel safe with and can trust and confide in.  Being connected with others is a part of human nature.  We need friendships and confidants that we know will understand, listen and offer support without judgement.  It’s important to recognize the difference between when a friend is truly empathizing or when they are giving advice.  When things are really tough, I’ve discovered that most people don’t want to be given a whole bunch of advice.  They want someone who will just listen to them and validate that what they’re experiencing is o.k.  Connecting in an authentic way allows you to release emotional conflict that otherwise would be stored in the body and could create illness and disease.

2.  Move My Body.  Movement is one of the best ways to release stress and anxiety.   In fact, during stressful times, exercise of any type will have a noticeable effect on your emotional state.  In my studies of movement based healing arts, we would have improvisational movement ‘play time’.  Working with whatever we were feeling, we would move our bodies to express the emotion.  The idea being that, through movement you can creatively release unresolved emotional conflict from the tissues of the body.  But you don’t have to be into the expressive arts to find benefit in moving your body.  Running, cycling, swimming, yoga, kickboxing, tai chi, walking, hiking, dancing …. you pick.  Just make the time to move your body in some way that feels good to you for at least 30 minutes per day.

3.  Express Gratitude.  Remember the lyrics from The Beatles: “…money can’t buy me love.” ?  That’s something that I’m so grateful for!  I hold with me throughout the day, the recognition of all the love I have in my life.  Money also can’t buy health, something else I’ve been blessed with.   Experts tell us that the expression of gratitude actually changes our biology.  When you focus on what you’re grateful for, all the things in your life that are going well, you open yourself to be more able to recognize opportunity.  During tough economic times, seeing what is good in our life helps us cope in a healthy way.  Gratitude can be expressed in a variety of ways.  You can keep a daily gratitude journal; You can express your appreciation for what others have done, or who they are;  You can write a thank you note to someone.

Connecting authentically with close friends, moving your body, and expressing gratitude are all healthy ways to channel stress and anxiety and will have a positive influence on your relationships and life during these tough economic times.

 

Lisa Engles uses Energy Psychology and Belief Coaching to help her clients move from barriers to breakthroughs in their body, health and life. Visit her website at: www.innerstatecoaching.com